Adios MotherF***ers! - OhBoyMom

Adios MotherF***ers!

September 26, 2013 in Hospital Tales

Little Dude and I had been at the hospital for seven hours.


And I’m not even including the previous two days that were even longer visits than that.

Seven hours of mostly waiting around is a long, long time for a nine-year old and his stressed out mom.

And did I mention that Little Dude was not allowed to eat anything during those seven hours?

Which meant that I didn’t eat either, because why would I torture my son and eat in front of him?

So, with our growling stomachs and patience that had left us at about hour number four, we were starting to lose it.

Little Dude had been subjected to so many tests, procedures, scans, prodding and poking over the past several days already.

Now, it was Friday afternoon and we were waiting for the doctor to “release” us after he reviewed the scan.

He had already requested a “re-do” on part of the scan, so now we were sitting there with our fingers crossed, hoping this scan was sufficient.

I had promised Little Dude a visit to the nearby Dunkin Donuts as soon as we left the hospital. I was dreaming of my iced cold tea and I know the Dude had visions of munchkins dancing in his head.

All I can say is thank the lord for the iPhone.

“Want to play Subway Surf again, buddy?” I asked, trying to distract him from his empty stomach.

“Sure,” he said as he reached for my phone for the 15th time that day.

That worked for about 3 minutes.

Then the whining started.

I couldn’t help it though.

“I’m sooo hungry, I can’t take this,” I complained.

I could feel my blood sugar plummeting and I knew I was going to start yelling at the next person who looked at me the wrong way.

Little Dude ignored me, as he was fully immersed in his iPhone game.

Finally, the doctor came over and said the scan was complete and we could leave.

“Yes!” I shouted as I fist-pumped and shot out of my seat.

Little Dude smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.

As we walked briskly down the hall, not wanting to risk anyone stopping us from our getaway, I heard Little Dude mutter this:

“Adios Mother-fuckers.”

Normally, I’d be mortified that such a phrase came out of my angelic child’s mouth. But in this case, I was all for it. In fact, I was a little bummed I didn’t think of it myself.

I grabbed Little Dude’s hand and said, “Damn right buddy, damn right.”


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