Adios MotherF***ers!

September 26, 2013 in Hospital Tales

Little Dude and I had been at the hospital for seven hours.


And I’m not even including the previous two days that were even longer visits than that.

Seven hours of mostly waiting around is a long, long time for a nine-year old and his stressed out mom.

And did I mention that Little Dude was not allowed to eat anything during those seven hours?

Which meant that I didn’t eat either, because why would I torture my son and eat in front of him?

So, with our growling stomachs and patience that had left us at about hour number four, we were starting to lose it.

Little Dude had been subjected to so many tests, procedures, scans, prodding and poking over the past several days already.

Now, it was Friday afternoon and we were waiting for the doctor to “release” us after he reviewed the scan.

He had already requested a “re-do” on part of the scan, so now we were sitting there with our fingers crossed, hoping this scan was sufficient.

I had promised Little Dude a visit to the nearby Dunkin Donuts as soon as we left the hospital. I was dreaming of my iced cold tea and I know the Dude had visions of munchkins dancing in his head.

All I can say is thank the lord for the iPhone.

“Want to play Subway Surf again, buddy?” I asked, trying to distract him from his empty stomach.

“Sure,” he said as he reached for my phone for the 15th time that day.

That worked for about 3 minutes.

Then the whining started.

I couldn’t help it though.

“I’m sooo hungry, I can’t take this,” I complained.

I could feel my blood sugar plummeting and I knew I was going to start yelling at the next person who looked at me the wrong way.

Little Dude ignored me, as he was fully immersed in his iPhone game.

Finally, the doctor came over and said the scan was complete and we could leave.

“Yes!” I shouted as I fist-pumped and shot out of my seat.

Little Dude smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.

As we walked briskly down the hall, not wanting to risk anyone stopping us from our getaway, I heard Little Dude mutter this:

“Adios Mother-fuckers.”

Normally, I’d be mortified that such a phrase came out of my angelic child’s mouth. But in this case, I was all for it. In fact, I was a little bummed I didn’t think of it myself.

I grabbed Little Dude’s hand and said, “Damn right buddy, damn right.”


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{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }

Julie Satz September 26, 2013 at 9:11 am

I love this! Good for Lil Dude (and you!) I love everything about your new and improved site and blog. Makes complete sense.


Kerri September 26, 2013 at 9:28 am

YES! That is the perfect response having to spend 7+ hours in the hospital for tests while not eating. I think it should be a t-shirt :)
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ohboymom September 26, 2013 at 10:03 am

Ha -,Kerri, I like the way you think! :)


Janine Huldie September 26, 2013 at 9:55 am

Ok, his response definitely did put a smile on my face and you are right in times like these you can’t be annoyed, because I do think he was justified in his words for waiting 7 hours. God bless him for that and so much more. Thinking of you both and hope no repeats of this type of scan anytime soon!!
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ohboymom September 26, 2013 at 2:39 pm

Thanks Janine – glad I could put a smile on your face today. Sometimes a curse truly is justified. Thanks for your continued thoughts…


grownandflown September 26, 2013 at 10:27 am

I have chills – never before have I heard this phrase used so perfectly. Fist-bumps to you and your precious son, Emily!!!!
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ohboymom September 26, 2013 at 2:23 pm

Ha – thanks much! I’m glad you agree with our language…sometimes it’s the only thing that makes sense.:)


Darcy Perdu September 26, 2013 at 11:33 am

that’s a classic!! :o)
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Julia September 26, 2013 at 1:27 pm

Are you sure little dude isn’t a Steiner?!?


ohboymom September 26, 2013 at 2:23 pm

Ha – love it. :)


Jessica September 26, 2013 at 4:04 pm

Amen to that! I can’t think of worse torture than sitting around in the hospital with an empty stomach. Well, maybe I could think of something, but it’s definitely up there! Hope you enjoyed your Dunkins!
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ohboymom September 26, 2013 at 4:54 pm

Yes, the Dunkin Donuts and iced tea never tasted so good! Thx for reading and commenting!


Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. September 26, 2013 at 4:06 pm

Emily, I don’t know how you manage to do it, but you so often make me laugh and cry in the same post! I am giggling at the ending, but there are tears in my eyes, too! What a classic line, and I probably would have high-fived him. You rock.
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ohboymom September 26, 2013 at 4:53 pm

Aw thanks Stephanie – I guess it is one of those laughing/crying moments.:)


Kathy at kissing the frog September 26, 2013 at 4:07 pm

Well, cancer does call for the F bomb. I don’t blame him either.


Stacia September 26, 2013 at 4:57 pm

Oh that kid of yours… I believe you were so right in letting him drop that f-bomb, right exactly where it deserved to be dropped!
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ohboymom September 26, 2013 at 5:37 pm

Thanks and so glad you agree! Sometimes a curse is the only way to go…


Rich Rumple September 26, 2013 at 8:15 pm

The medical industry is completely heartless when it comes to recognizing the demands of the human body. Still, I’ll bet not one of the personnel working with you failed to take a lunch break! BRAVO!!!!! To your son. Out of the mouths of babes comes the truth! :)
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ohboymom September 27, 2013 at 12:35 pm

I agree Rich, that sometimes the way patients are treated is outrageous. As adults, we know how to put up with it most of the time. But kids? That’s a whole different ball game and yet, it amazes me that in some hospitals, they are still not a priority.


Jill September 26, 2013 at 9:27 pm

HE HE HE HE HE. A kids after my own heart!


Dana September 26, 2013 at 10:32 pm

I read this assuming you were the one saying that! Sometimes cursing is called for, and this was definitely one of those times. Very appropriate use of the f-word, Little Dude!
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ohboymom September 27, 2013 at 12:23 pm

Although I shouldn’t admit this, he likely learned his “appropriate use of the f-word” from me. :)


Kristi Campbell September 26, 2013 at 10:37 pm

Damn right, little dude. Damn right. Even knowing he’d said that, while reading this, I was riveted (again and always). I love that you let him get away with it. I love that he said it. Why they can’t just LET YOU GO HOME when they’re doing whatever….sigh.
Hugs and fist bumps to you and little dude. Big ones.
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ohboymom September 27, 2013 at 12:33 pm

Thanks — and how did I seem to know you would love that he said it? :)


Roshni September 27, 2013 at 1:31 am

I should say so!! What were they thinking of?!! Hope you had an awesome time at Dunkin’ Doughnuts!!
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ohboymom September 27, 2013 at 12:36 pm

Yes, Dunkin Donuts was a great reward that day!


Celeste September 27, 2013 at 8:32 am

too bad he didn’t have a megaphone!


Julia September 27, 2013 at 9:30 am

Love that fighting spirit!


Kerith Stull September 27, 2013 at 11:50 am

Love it! I always feel like the nurses are jail wardens. Parole time never comes soon enough.
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Kelly September 27, 2013 at 11:57 am

I’d have been laughing too! Waiting is SO FRUSTRATING! Little Dude is right…I’m sending him a fist pump and I’ll raise it with a virtual high five!


ohboymom September 27, 2013 at 12:37 pm

You are so right Kelly – the waiting is the worst part, or as Tom Petty once sang, “the waiting is the hardest part.” (at least I hope that is Tom Petty or I’ll look like a musical idiot).


Lisa @ The Golden Spoon September 27, 2013 at 8:25 pm

Oh that is classic!! the hospital totally deserved that phrase! Good for Little Dude!
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Elizabeth Towns September 29, 2013 at 11:55 pm

I am telling you that I love Little Dude right now. There is a right time for inflammatory language and a right time to endorse your children in whatever actions they take. This was that time and you rocked out!
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Rhonda December 29, 2013 at 5:02 pm

That. Is. Fantastic. Sometimes we all just have to say exactly what we are thinking. Perfect!
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ohboymom December 29, 2013 at 5:22 pm

I agree — couldn’t have said it better myself.:)


Katia December 29, 2013 at 10:18 pm

This was an appropriate moment for that, if there ever was one. I’m sorry and I hope this was the last time you have to wait that long. Best of luck and health to little dude and everyone in your family in 2014.


ohboymom December 30, 2013 at 7:18 pm

Thanks Katia and yes, things have improved greatly since that hospital visit early on in this ordeal. We are in the home stretch now (a few more months to go) and are looking forward to a better 2014. Happy New Year to you and your family!


Kate Hall December 30, 2013 at 1:43 am

Emily, this post made me cry. Just reading what your son has gone through for so many months and then to hear him say that, just exemplifies all the struggle and pain. His words were exquisite.
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ohboymom December 30, 2013 at 7:14 pm

Thanks Kate and I love your word choice to describe his word choice — exquisite. I completely agree! We are in the home stretch now (only a few more months of treatment to go) and my son is keeping his spirits up so he’s in a much better place than when I wrote that post. Happy New Year to you and your family!


Kim December 30, 2013 at 5:28 pm

Oh my gosh! Hilarious! Out of the mouths of babes, right? =) If I had kids that would have been one of the rare times I’d ever let him/her swear like that. I definitely can’t blame your son for doing it! I would too!
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