Tomorrow is my son’s last day of 3rd grade at our local elementary school. Every year I am outraged by the fact that the last day of school is only 30 minutes long. Yes, you read that correctly. It is NOT a typo.
One half hour. 30 Minutes. Or, 1,800 seconds.
Ridiculous, I know.
Besides the obvious frustration of needing to wake up my son and get him ready for school, I am pretty sure that having school in session for a half hour is a monumental waste of resources, including the gas used to transport him to and from school, electricity used to keep the school building open, as well as an utter disrespect for our tax dollars. My thinking is, if you’re not going to keep the kids in school for a full day or even a half day for godssake, then don’t open it at all.
Many parents do wise up and say “screw it” and don’t send their kid in for that last half hour. I’m way too much of a rule follower for that and besides, I’m a big proponent of closure and want my kid to say good-bye to his teacher and friends on the last day. So, every year he goes. And every year, I stew about it and plan out my 30-minute morning accordingly. I’ve come up with a handy list of ways I can kill time during the brief period he is inside the school building and here are my options, in no particular order.
- Walk to the nearby cafe and buy my morning iced tea and SLOWLY walk back to school to retrieve my son.
- Play 15 games of Scramble @ two minutes each.
- Count from 1800 backwards.
- Walk around the perimeter of the school ten times
- Chat with a mom in the school playground. If I choose a particular chatty mom, I’m covered for the full 30 minutes.
- Sit in my car and answer emails, check Facebook and Twitter. Actually, scratch that – I’d need way more than 30 minutes to do my internet surfing.
- Write an angry letter to the Board of Education demanding that they abolish the 30-minute last day of school tradition.
- Meditate to calm my brewing rage at the fact that my son is in school for only 30 minutes.
- Bring the car in to the car wash for it’s biannual cleaning
- Take a nap in the car (but set the alarm on my cell phone)
- Learn the lyrics to Big Dude’s favorite rap song so I can impress him later
- Sit in the sun and work on my savage tan/sunburn
- Sit in the shade and read a book
- Sit in the car and tweeze my eyebrows using the great lighting in the rear view mirror
- Time myself for how long I can hold my breath. Repeat this several times until I feel nauseous and dizzy
- Count my freckles
- Look for suspicious freckles
- Look for four leaf clovers and if I find one, make a wish that they get rid of the 30-minute last day of school
Help me out! If you have any other ideas for me to fill my whopping 30-minute morning tomorrow or if you have a favorite option listed above, please let me know in the comments.