MacBook Pro Available in 15.4- and 17-inch diagonal size. MacBook Pro (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
If you want your children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.” — Abigail Van Buren (aka, “Dear Abby”)
That quote appeared in my inbox the other day. It was sent to me by the PTA (Parent-Teacher Association) of my son’s school, as part of a regular feature in the weekly updates called, “Read It And Breathe.”
It seemed to appear at just the right time: Right after my son had carelessly loaded his backpack into the trunk of my car, along with his golf clubs and gym bag. He walked away, not noticing the backpack had toppled out on to the driveway.
We were in a rush to get him to school on time. Our morning routine was “off” because the school instituted a one-hour delay due to the sloppy, wet March snow. We always mis-judge how much time we have to get ready for school with those morning delays. Before we know it, we’re scrambling out the door.
As my son came around to sit in the passenger side of the front seat, I pushed the button to automatically close the back gate of my SUV. Ahh convenience! I never had to leave my car to close the hatch again. As I backed out of our driveway, I felt the car run over something, but I figured it was the mound of snow the plow had made at the end of our driveway.
My husband noticed the crushed and wet back-pack as he was headed out 15 minutes later. Just as I was pulling into the parking lot of my son’s high school, my husband called me to ask why our son’s backpack was sitting in the driveway.
As soon as he asked me that, I realized what had happened. And that I had run over the backpack, that contained both his newly replaced cell phone and his Apple MacBook Pro. As I drove home, I prayed that my 6,000 pound vehicle drove over the part of the backpack that contained his lunch, but I knew better. That laptop was road pizza. The phone, miraculously, was unscathed. But oh how I wish it had been the reverse.
I spent the rest of the day trying to fix the problem. I brought the soggy backpack to my son’s school so he’d have his books for the day. I drove to the store to buy him a new backpack, because the one he had was now not only wet, but its zipper was destroyed. And then I drove to the Apple Store to see if they could bring his laptop back to life.
They couldn’t.
But, for $755, they could rebuild it like new. Yippee?
Why oh why couldn’t his cheap Samsung phone be the item that was ruined? We’d already replaced his phone several times, because he lost it — repeatedly. While that pissed me off, this pissed me off a whole lot more, because it was going to cost me a whole lot more.
I started to think more about my son taking responsibility for his carelessness. Despite the fact that I was the one who accidentally drove over the laptop, this WAS his fault, wasn’t it?
I wondered how to drill into his head that he has to take better care of his possessions, that he just can’t go flinging his backpack into a car or lose his phone numerous times. Naturally, he needs to learn the consequences of his actions. The obvious choice would be to not replace the laptop. Except he is required to have one for his high school.
The next choice would be for him to use his brother’s laptop, or mine and share it with us. But, neither Middle Dude nor I want to hand over our precious laptops, for fear of another “incident.”
According to Abigail Van Buren and her quote, I’m supposed to put more responsibility on my son’s shoulders. That will somehow teach him to be grounded and more mature. I think it’s a great idea. But, I do wish Dear Abby (may she RIP) was a bit more specific. Do I make him get a job, not only to pay us back for the cost of repair, but to know how it feels to work for money? In theory, that works, but in reality, he’s already over-scheduled with sports practices and homework. No way could he fit in a part-time job right now.
In my son’s defense, he claims he put the backpack in carefully. Our driveway does slant downwards and his overly stuffed backpack does weigh more than a small child. Perhaps he’s not at fault and it was just an unfortunate accident. I’m letting him off the hook this time, but if he loses another phone or damages his laptop again, he’s going to be headed to the nearest employment office. He better get started on his resume now.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
I had a similar experience when I had my convertible. I was taking a picture of the sky while driving on the freeway and the wind caught my Blackberry and next thing I knew it was run over by a semi. I had a great time trying to explain that one to my husband.
I get it…these crazy things happen to us and you think to yourself, “no one is going to believe me.” When I told the guy at the Apple store what happened, he said he’s actually heard of people running over laptops before!! Guess I’m not so unique after all…
Ouch and was so feeling your pain on this one. Did you end up getting his MacBook fixed by the Apple Store? I think you are right thought that we have to put a bit more responsibility on our kids, but when you aren’t even sure whose fault it was that can be tricky. Sorry this happened and just hope nothing like this happens anytime soon again!
I hope so too…I’m not sure I can afford any more mishaps in my house! (and yes, the Apple Store is fixing the laptop…should be ready in 1 week).
Sounds like you had a very interesting morning. Allz I know is my parents would have killed me and not gotten me another laptop or phone. Period. LOL.
Your parents sound like smart people (unlike moi).
HAHAHA I wish Dear Miss Abby would have left more specific directions for a lot of things! Like step-by-freaking-step how to make our children more responsible. And how to abolish the guilt that we are the ones that “forgot” their helmet, ran over their laptop or heaven forbid did not wash the shirt they were planning on wearing 5 minutes from now.
Can you get Allie an employment application too? She is only 9 but I see it in her future
Oh, that’s tough! As educators and parents, we’re supposed to allow for “natural consequences” for your kids’ decisions. But what if those “natural consequences” end up being a punishment for the parents too?
Oh man the idea of running over a Mac just makes my stomach hurt. I have no idea what the right thing to do would be, especially since he has to have a laptop for school. Yikes.
Yeah, it was a tough call on this one since he must have it for school…I suppose we never should have bought the Mac in the first place, but too late for that. Lesson learned!
NOOO! I was so sad for you when I saw it was a Macbook. I was hoping it was a crappy old PC. Devastating. I guess the rebuild option isn’t awful? I am sure I will struggle with that parental advice- the responsibility thing- when my kids are older. IN fact, we already deal with it at 6- how much do we trust her to do responsibly?
The responsibility thing is a balancing act and I think it’s most difficult for us to figure it out with our oldest children (this incident involved my oldest). We tend to delay giving them too much responsibility early on because of our own anxieties, whereas with subsequent children, you learn to do it more quickly…i.e., so what if you’re in kindergarten — you can walk to school! (Kidding, of course…)
I completely get this! I could see this happening to us! My oldest has similar issues with carelessness when it comes to electronics. She broke the power cord for her macbook in the first week she had it. It was $80 to replace, but still. She throws the laptop around like it’s indestructible.
And it’s tough to make them get a job when their time is taken up doing all the things they love +homework, etc. Hmm…their lives are pretty good!
I agree, their lives ARE pretty good. My husband always says that in his next life, he wants to come back as one of our kids!
OMg…Emily!
Now your son will literally say, “My mom ran over my laptop!” I am glad you could get it repaired in 3 digits…lol
This cold weather is burning each one of us out.
TGIF!
You are right – the best part of this whole incident is my son being able to say, “my mom ran over my laptop.” Almost hard to believe! And yes, TGIF to you too!
Wow, things are so different now-a-days. I remember when having a desktop (let alone a laptop) was just a luxury. My parents would have flipped out, also I think they would’ve gotten me a cheap Walmart laptop (or wherever, emphasis more on cheap than location). I have a terrible habit of falling asleep with the laptop on my lap. This has never been a problem…until that one time…it slipped and fell onto it’s side. Fortunately, it just has a battle wound and still works. Unfortunately, I think some of its glitchiness may stem from that fall.
I wish I had initially bought my son a cheap Walmart laptop! But since we purchased a warranty with this one, the guy at Apple convinced us to fix it so we don’t lose our warranty coverage, even though it wouldn’t cover this — oh well.
Emily, think kids as a whole should learn the value of responsibility….and what better way to teach it to them than to make them work for it. I think they value things more when they pay for it themselves than if they are given. This aside, I think he may have just loaded the bag in the trunk a little too quickly in his hurry! Thanks for sharing!
“…clark! how many times do I have to tell you to be careful with your abacus!! now look what happened! the frickin beads are all over the driveway.”
(ha ha… a little age humor).
In an effort to write something, somewhat germane…my not having young children), I might suggest that, with the Doctrine as a lens, your sons’ response to the incident would suggest which of the three personality types he is. a) he feels genuinely bad, puts all fault on himself, totally wants to replace it himself but does not manage to find the means = clark; b) he gets mad, gets over it, gets a job (or some other means of replacing it with another)= scott or c) he gets upset, finds the true reason for damage in others, resolves to replace, finds an alternative to buying himself another laptop= roger.
Hey this is fun! (not making light of your actual, reality based situation but rather the opportunity to consider a life situation that I do not have direct experience with*.
* despite not having children, I did have an a certain parental experience when I let a client learn to drive on my car (and no, I am not a professional driving instructor lol).
In any event, I thought it would be nice to let ‘Tracey’ practice her driving as we looked at houses. Then one day, as we we backing into a space, she mistook the gas pedal for the brake and kinda hit the guardrail.
I was pleased to note that I did not get overly upset…sort of. Well, it was my idea and mistakes are a part of learning.
Not sure if I could do that on a daily basis, however….
OMG, I do believe my son is a Roger! Now if only it WAS an abacus…:)
Ouch. That hurts the pocketbook. Why couldn’t it have been his lunch in there!?!
I hear ya! Of course that would mean I was actually lucky, which in this case, definitely not.
Oh dude. That SO sucks, especially because you can’t be sure whether he did place his backpack in carefully. It really sucks that it was a MacBook. Ugh. Teaching respect for their things is hard. Tucker threw the iPad the other day when he got mad at it. So not cool (it was fine but still). Sorry to hear that you have to fix the laptop. Such a bummer.
I do appreciate the condolences for the MacBook. Meanwhile, they told me it would take a week to fix, but I got the call today (2 days after I brought it in) that it’s already fixed…something’s fishy.
Yikes, what a start to the day….Your sons are VERY lucky. My parents would not have gotten me another laptop or phone, that’s for sure!
This post made me feel sick to my stomach! I can’t imagine how you felt once you realized the laptop was ruined. Ugh.
My vote is to make him pay for a new one…even if you have to buy it now and he pays you back. Just because it may or may not have been his fault isn’t the issue. The issue to me is that he has to learn that life isn’t fair, and crap happens. Sometimes MacBooks in bookbags fall out of SUVs and get run over. It doesn’t even matter if it’s his fault or not. The result is the same…$800. It’s not like Apple is going to replace it for free once they realize it was an accident.
So to me, the moral of the story is that life isn’t fair and you can’t expect someone else to bail you out. Those are the cards we’re dealt and we all have to play the hand…even if some of us don’t even know what game we’re playing, what cards are wild, or who is holding the Old Maid card.
And thanks for the pizza reference. Now, it’s all I can think about.
Thanks Lisa, I do appreciate your thoughts and I think you’re right about the lesson that he should learn from this. The sad part of the whole story is when I told Apple my sob story, they said I wasn’t the first person to run over a laptop! They should have some sort of laptop run-over insurance! And glad you liked the pizza joke.