Hint: It’s not lanyard or a wet bathing suit.
It’s that time of year so be forewarned: Lice are everywhere. The nits and bugs could very well be in your kids’ hair right now. And, the lice has likely has been nesting there for weeks or even months. I don’t mean to freak you out but believe me, I know, because this has happened in our house, three summers in a row. Much as I love sending my kids to camp, that is most likely where the critters take up residence in their scalps. Yes, it sucks. And, it’s usually not until the start of school (RIGHT NOW!) when those nasty buggers are discovered. But, now that I consider myself an expert, my first piece of advice is do not panic (like I did).
I’ll tell you exactly what you can do if you don’t want to shave all their hair off, which is something we considered in our panic-stricken state. Big Dude cried, “shave me, shave me!” while Middle Dude, who treasured his thick, wavy locks, wailed, “Noooooo!” Little Dude, whether we shaved his head or not, was just plain happy he had lice too because he hated to be left out of anything. I realize that for you girl moms, the head shaving solution is not really an option. So, I’ll tell you what is guaranteed to work, whether you have sons, daughters or both. It’s quite simple really:
- Call an expert
- Start drinking — alcohol, preferably wine or vodka ASAP. (Note: This step can actually come first).
I know what you’re thinking. It’s expensive to call an expert, and while most of us can handle pouring that all-important drink, not everyone can afford to hire a professional nit-picker. I get that. But, when I say expert, I mean someone like me, who knows what the heck they are doing. When my three dudes all had lice for the first time AND at the same time, discovered while on vacation no less, my mother, sister-in-law, and I tried to treat them on our own. We wasted an entire day and the dudes still had nits and bugs in their hair after hours of combing and picking. We had no idea how to defeat those suckers.
In order to salvage our vacation, my parents graciously offered to pick up the expense of bringing in a lice expert to not only treat my kids but to check all of us, who were itching like crazy with our phantom symptoms. Ms. Lice Expert saved our vacation, and my sanity. I also learned how to treat lice on my own, should it ever happen again. And, it did. Two more friggin’ times. I now consider myself the neighborhood expert. One time I even picked up my friend’s daughter from school and treated her so that by the time my friend arrived home from work, her daughter was nit free.
I sincerely hope you don’t need to go through this, but if you do, pour that glass of wine, and find your expert, whether a seasoned pro like me or a paid professional. You can thank me later.
P.S. If you aren’t sure how to detect lice, go to this website to learn all about it: